I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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