i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
are you so shy because you have an std?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
