Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
So much Jack, so little girl.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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