every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize