I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
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