Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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