is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
