I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
