maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
