Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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