The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
