I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
we made out on top of his cat.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
