just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
