that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
