it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
