Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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