his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Why is your signature on my underwear?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I deserve this hangover.
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