IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
