Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
