Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
