I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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