Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
