Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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