I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
