if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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