We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
