I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
