i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
