Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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