I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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