you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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