I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
