idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
