Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
