are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
