I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
