great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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