Yo dont text me then not text me
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize