I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
