Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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