I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
is this the sara with the beer cane?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
