So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
