Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Randomize