She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
