She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
