i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
