I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
