I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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