I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Randomize
