and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
