i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
