let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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