I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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