How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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