***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
