Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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