9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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