Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
