Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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