Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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